Cheesy Broccoli Meltdown

The title sounds like a children's book but make no mistake. This is a true and horrifying story.

Allow me to set the scene.

Zach, the girls and I had just sat down to a lovely, peaceful dinner -- meatball sandwiches, pasta and BROCCOLI.

DUN. DUN. DUN.

Accurate depiction of inside Emma's mind when she caught sight of the little green trees on the table (this was cheesy broccoli mind you -- I'm not evil).

Emma's "Disgust" cued up an absolute and total meltdown. Tears, red face, uncontrollable heavy breathing paired with a generous portion of kid logic -- and not just your run of the mill kid logic where they argue that life isn't fair and they don't care about dessert. Emma's kid logic had us very close to believing we were indeed horrible enough to let her eat something that was going to make her physically ill.

Parents: "Broccoli is good for you. We need to make sure you eat your veggies."

Emma: "I'm going to throw up. What kind of people force you to eat something that makes you throw up?"

Damn, she's good.

Zach's usually the one who gets heated when the girls talk back but this time the rage was evenly distributed to the both of us. Meanwhile this was one of my first attempts at a family meal. We don't yet live together but I reasoned that I needed to lay down the law now so it doesn't come as a complete surprise after Zach and I are married. She was eating that broccoli or not getting an ice cream sandwich for dessert.

Finally, after much arguing and more crying, she complied with the no sweets option, but because she still would not calm down I suggested we (Zach, Marissa and I) go outside and play so Emma could pull herself together. My mom did this often when I was being a picky eater -- since I would take so long to finish what was on my plate she would clear the table after everyone else was done and turn the lights out in the dining room, leaving me to eat in the dark. alone. I hated that -- but it worked.

Emma hated it too but again it worked. And she returned to normal Emma.

Let me clarify normal Emma -- she is one of the sweetest girls I have ever known and unprompted she even apologized for throwing the tantrum. She is wise above her 7 years which I think gets her into these predicaments sometimes but she is really not a picky eater. She just hates broccoli as I painfully learned.

When I told my mom about the whole ordeal, she couldn't help but smile. I'm getting back exactly what I did to my parents. But she did have a good tip for me.

Mom: "Keep a can of spinach on hand. Kids love to have options right? Give her one. She doesn't like broccoli or some other vegetable you put on her plate. Then you'd be happy to serve her some warm, mushy spinach instead. She'll likely choose the broccoli."

Damn, she's good.