Questions Parents Don't Have The Answers To

The list keeps growing with each passing day -- questions Zach and I just don't have the answer to. To the naive questions like "How do you tell the difference between the eggs we eat and the eggs that hatch into chicks?" (not even sure if they're the same egg or not?) to asking about the napkin dispenser in the women's room at The Home Depot.

Emma: "Napkin? I want a napkin."
Me: "Those aren't regular napkins." **quickly changes topic**

With the baby on the way I know the girls can at any moment drop the bomb on us and ask how their future brother or sister got inside my belly. And even though Zach and I are anticipating it WE STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE ARE GOING TO SAY!

They are only 7 and (almost) 9 after all -- that's too young to explain how things really go down. Right?! But if we are going to give them only a vague sense of the truth what do we say to not completely confuse the shit out of them?

Since I went to Catholic school I got the whole "God plants the seed in the mommy's tummy and the dad fertilizes it." Suffice it to say I thought we all started out as literal flowers. Plus, what about the imminent follow-up questions -- how does the dad fertilize it? What does fertilize even mean?

Another option is the whole Stork story -- but a bird dropping off a baby on your doorstep is so far removed from what actually happens that I don't think they'll buy it... they're already too smart for that.

On the bright side they don't yet have their own suspicions about what really happens. The day after we told them we were expecting, Emma made a sweet card for me to say Congrats. My mom was helping her with it and suggested she also include Daddy in the card.

Emma's response: "What does he have to do with it?"

But it's inevitable... one day Marissa and Emma will come home horrified and in disbelief after learning how two people make a baby from some girl on the bus. And they'll come home looking for me to either confirm or deny this absurd notion (much like I did to my mom when someone broke the news to me in the 3rd grade). Well when that happens I promise to tell them the truth... that is as long as this conversation doesn't come up until they're sophomores in high school. Until then -- DENY DENY DENY.